Only a Mother

Only a mother will get this entry.  Here are just a few reasons the other moms of young children totally "get" you.  And many more reasons why it pays to have them as friends to help you (find) and keep your sanity.  You know you're a mom in need of a friend, or perhaps a margarita (or both) when you:

1. are not in any of your own vacation photos.
2. have learned to see past the fingerprints on your television.
3. desperately wish you were that weight that years ago you thought was fat.
4. take 2 to 3 days to watch a 1.5 hour movie, if you finish it at all.
5. have wondered if your baby was secretly sent here by aliens to weaken you and take over your mind.
6. have an 8 a.m. cup of coffee is sitting, half full and cold, on the table at 4 p.m.
7. buy books hoping you will finish them in the next year.
8. look forward to talking to the grocery store cashier or dry cleaning attendant.
9. haven't had an adult conversation in at least three days.
10. think "Me time" now means cleaning the kitchen while dad watches football (and the baby).
11. haven't used your blow dryer since giving birth.
12. have traded your purse for your diaper bag.
13. only watch cartoons and you know all of the character's names.
14. use spit as a cleaning agent.
15. have broken your toe stepping on a stealth lego creation.
16. walk through the kitchen and your feet stick to grape jelly on the floor, and you don't care.
17. can't recall the last time you slept, but you know it's been years.
18. cannot answer your phone without a child screaming like a banshee.
19. pick up your phone to find it caked with applesauce or drool.
20. can fake a sincere-looking smile when your kids are in total meltdown.
21. wonder where the return label is on the package you waited on for nine months.
22. have fallen asleep sitting up.
23. are proud to have at least one clean, slightly wrinkled shirt, with no spit up on the shoulders.
24. can translate the noises that emit from your bundle of joy to your husband.
25. wake up at night with extra people in bed with you.
26. forget the lyrics to every single lullaby and nursery rhyme when trying to calm your baby.
27. have not seen the floor of your car in weeks months.
28. have lost ten pounds because you are trying to feed everyone else and forget yourself.
29. have gained ten pounds because you eat after everyone else.
30. can't recall the last meal you sat down to where you didn't have to cut all the food into little bites.
31. never get to shut your bathroom door.
32. can step over toys, look past dishes and reach over that pile of clean laundry with grace and ease.
33. stop caring about how loud the kids in restaurants are, and you sympathize instead.
34. plan your cocktail hour around your baby's feeding schedule.
35. have locked yourself in a utility room, closet or bathroom to have a moment alone, more than once.
36. do not know the last time that you uttered a sentence with more than three words in it.
37. think that saying "no, no, no!" is going to work better than just saying "no".
38. have stayed in your car/house/bed/rocking chair for hours just to let your kid stay asleep.
39. have gotten in the car and driven for hours in the middle of the night to help your newborn sleep.
40. think a five minute shower is a like a day at the spa.
41. can't find your wallet in your purse because of the toys, pacifiers, wipes and diapers.
42. notice that you lose your cell phone or keys at least once a day.
43. know exactly where to hit "play" when fast-forwarding past the beginning of the BabyEinstein DVD.
44. start working at 9 p.m.
45. wonder why your kid's screaming and cranky, and then remember you didn't feed them anything.

I'd love you hear your own take on this topic, I'm free this Saturday for a margarita girls night!