It's already the beginning of November? I actually am having a hard time identifying exactly what month it is, because the Christmas decorations are already up en masse at the stores by my house. Did we not just close our doors to the onslaught of little ghosts and goblins begging for candy?
The holiday countdown is already on, and I am absolutely not ready. I do not know who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner, I forgot to pass out names for our family gift exchange, family plans are confused by my brother's recent estrangement, and I'm not sure where we ended up putting the Christmas ornaments after our move back in May. A quick search on Google reveals over 269,000 entries for "de-stress your
holidays". When did the holiday season become something to be survived?
We moms have so many
plates spinning - tending to the needs of our kids and husband, maintaining our friendships, keeping up with responsibilities at home, work and beyond, while still trying to fit in our goals and keep our health. Now with the dawn of "everything happy and bright" on its way, I often
wonder how to balance even more with already full hands. Having a young child in our house really turned the tables on us. We were spoiled with ten years focused mostly on the two of us, but now we struggle with even the simplest tasks on a never-ending list. I can promise you I never thought I would have been the person to forget to feed my dog or take out the trash! The drive of wanting to get it all done and be and do all things well, even perfect, can send me speeding ahead on the road of life. Except the stress of too much to do and not enough time to do it sends me speeding down the wrong road entirely, and I get overwhelmed and disconnected from my joy, my husband, my son, myself. Except Jesus did not say to us "I came so that you may have life and have it more overwhelmingly". Instead he promised something much better, he said he came so that we might have abundant life.
And when I can look it squarely in the eye, this truth informs the solution to my problem. The answer to my deepest need this holiday season will not be met in a well-executed holiday plan. I do not need the diagram for how to create a fresh and festive holiday centerpiece in 6 easy steps, a fabulous one-day Christmas shopping plan, 3 tips for the best fruitcake recipe or 10 splurge-worthy holiday gifts. While all of these ideas are wonderfully creative, I know that what ends up happening is piling them on top of my current to-do list only causes more stress, less togetherness; more irritability and less gratitude. When I work hard to get every detail on the list perfect, I get stressed and impatient. On top of the negative mood, my focus on the "list" and the "perfect" keeps me from witnessing the magic of the present moment, the beauty of what is happening right here in front of me. I'm beginning to realize that not only do I not need to research and purchase the best wreath for the season to hang on my front door, I need to learn to close the door instead.
I need to close the door on extraneous social obligations, the commercialism of the holidays, and the need to have everything just perfect. No one will draw their last breath this year because I stopped baking from scratch, or even stopped baking at all. In fact, most of you would probably be happy at the thought of less calories around to tempt you. If I don't buy all variations of Scentsy from a neighbor, attend every Christmas pageant, send a card to each soul I've ever shaken hands with, or wrap a room full of unnecessary gifts - all will not be lost and the earth will still revolve around the sun. The huge juggernaut that is the holiday season in America will roll right on past without even a second glance at me, and its likely that most people will not even notice that I've done anything different or done anything less. But I bet my family will notice, because some magical things will start to happen.
For starters, that family day we've been meaning to have. A tickle war with the two year old. A walk with the dog, who somehow still loves me even when I forget to feed her. A call to a friend for that long overdue chat. A day off. A real conversation with the husband. A much-needed girls night with the ten year old. A space to reflect on the year. A time to cultivate gratitude and to extend grace. After all, how did Jesus celebrate? He gave himself to those he loved. He glorified God in the simple act of living. No amount of checks on my to-do list could provide the abundance found in simple, selfless acts like these.
What if we were to take a step back before the busyness begins? Breathe, and remember what and who the holidays are really about. What if we stop spending hours in long retail lines or at holiday parties we don't want to attend, and instead spend time chasing our kids around or hanging out with our husband? What if we embraced the holy abundance already in our lives instead of looking outward to try and buy or find it? What if instead of rushing around, we paused to savor the little moments that fill our hearts with joy - a daughter asleep in your arms or a son pleading for one more hug? I wonder what is coming your way this holiday - joy or fruitcake? You know, no one ever likes the fruitcake anyway.
I need to close the door on extraneous social obligations, the commercialism of the holidays, and the need to have everything just perfect. No one will draw their last breath this year because I stopped baking from scratch, or even stopped baking at all. In fact, most of you would probably be happy at the thought of less calories around to tempt you. If I don't buy all variations of Scentsy from a neighbor, attend every Christmas pageant, send a card to each soul I've ever shaken hands with, or wrap a room full of unnecessary gifts - all will not be lost and the earth will still revolve around the sun. The huge juggernaut that is the holiday season in America will roll right on past without even a second glance at me, and its likely that most people will not even notice that I've done anything different or done anything less. But I bet my family will notice, because some magical things will start to happen.
For starters, that family day we've been meaning to have. A tickle war with the two year old. A walk with the dog, who somehow still loves me even when I forget to feed her. A call to a friend for that long overdue chat. A day off. A real conversation with the husband. A much-needed girls night with the ten year old. A space to reflect on the year. A time to cultivate gratitude and to extend grace. After all, how did Jesus celebrate? He gave himself to those he loved. He glorified God in the simple act of living. No amount of checks on my to-do list could provide the abundance found in simple, selfless acts like these.
What if we were to take a step back before the busyness begins? Breathe, and remember what and who the holidays are really about. What if we stop spending hours in long retail lines or at holiday parties we don't want to attend, and instead spend time chasing our kids around or hanging out with our husband? What if we embraced the holy abundance already in our lives instead of looking outward to try and buy or find it? What if instead of rushing around, we paused to savor the little moments that fill our hearts with joy - a daughter asleep in your arms or a son pleading for one more hug? I wonder what is coming your way this holiday - joy or fruitcake? You know, no one ever likes the fruitcake anyway.
"Every time you close another door - be it the door of immediate satisfaction, the door of distracting entertainment, the door of busyness, the door of guilt and worry, or the door of self-rejection - you commit yourself to go deeper into your heart and thus deeper into the heart of God. This is a movement toward full incarnation. It leads you to become what you already are - a child of God; it lets you embody more and more the truth of your being; it makes you claim the God within you."
- Henri Nouwen
- Henri Nouwen
No comments:
Post a Comment
I'd love to hear from you!