Sayonara perfection

“When all the details fit in perfectly, something is probably wrong with the story.”  - Charles Baxter

This is not the photo for this post, but its the fastest one I could find before I run out the door to catch my boys who are heading down the driveway.  The ideal photograph for this post is probably residing on the hard drive of my good friend who lives in coastal North Carolina.  It is a professionally taken picture of her and her new husband just after their wedding, flanked by the children who assisted the wedding - the flower girls and the ring bearer.  My son was the ring bearer - and while the bride and groom and all the little girls were smiling properly with content, my boy was screaming and crying his little eyes out.  Best. Wedding. Photo. Ever. And testament to the fact that not everything goes perfectly, in fact, that maybe nothing ever goes perfectly.


Today I am getting mentally ready to have my first biopsy at MD Anderson, which is totally fine and totally strange all in the same moment.  As a new friend of mine reminded me "don't borrow trouble".  She is terribly right, and so to help alleviate my anxiety about the procedure I've been processing my thoughts and trying to catch up on old writing work.  Part of that was going through my blog, where I noticed I had several "draft" posts that had never been published.  So, I've posted several things today, all written within the span of the past few months.  


Sometimes I write stuff and I leave it there, as a draft, because I don't think its good enough, or I want to add to it, or I am concerned about putting it out there.  It is funny to think of how many things we don't just do because we are worried or scared or trying to make it perfect.  It's never perfect, folks, we know this, but we do it to ourselves anyway.  We tell ourselves what we have to offer or give or say or do isn't enough.  But it really is - it is more like magic than anything.  We are the artwork of a master creator - we live and breathe from a creative source.  Why do we pain ourselves with doubt and worry, instead of running full speed ahead?  I am reminding myself again today of this, and I'm giving up the anxiety and the worry and the fear and the paralysis that comes from these things.  Sayonara, perfection.