Tea and cookies are good

I read a post today that a pastor friend of mine posted on Facebook.  The article was titled "Why We Don't Need Women's Ministry".  Now, this pastor friend of mine happens to be a man, so I wondered about his choice of article, dealing with women and all.  We also happen to have a Women's Ministry at our church, so I was curious also, and I took the time to visit the link.  You can read the full article here.


According to the author, it seems women's ministry is all tea, and pastels, and flowers and interior decorating, and hats and needlepoint.  And in the author's eyes, nothing else.  Of course, as people are apt to do, a fellow church member replied to said pastor's posting, saying in essence: yeah, I don't like to go to those garden parties where all the women look good, all the flowers are in bloom, and they pass their time idly by, wearing cute hats and sipping earl grey from their Spode tea cups.


Well, don't think for a minute that I'm against her, because let me make it very clear that donning a hat to an afternoon women's tea party is not on my bucket list (at least not yet).  It's just not me, and it's not something I would ever be comfortable doing.


Not that there's anything wrong with tea and flowers and hats... These are all just expressions of one's personal tastes, after all.  If Women's Ministry at my church meant margaritas and live music and tattered blue jeans, I'd probably be a staunch supporter.  And I know from personal experience, with my own little women's group that these meetings and events create a space of grace that allows for sharing life with fellow believers, an experience which has been invaluable to me.  While we don't wear hats or share decorating tips, we do share meals, tragedies, laughter and prayer.  These women are my sisters, and in years of sharing life and breaking bread together, they have embraced and encouraged me, prayed for me and allowed me to live fully, even vulnerably, from the core of my spiritual existence.  We are called to build up our relationships and to be mindful of our spiritual formation.  And true relationship such as this is not even always about guts and glory.  Sometimes relationship is just sitting in silence enjoying some hot tea and a rest from the frantic pace of the world.


But if we stop there, if that is all we do, we sell ourselves short.  I venture to say that we sell Christ short.  Christ didn't walk the earth to reveal to us the eternal truths of God by saying "I came so that you might fellowship with your congregation more abundantly" - though gatherings like these certainly strengthen relationships in our congregations.  Jesus Christ, through a sublime reality we know as Christ crucified, calls us radically out of life as we knew it, turning us and our world upside down, and setting us on a path anew.  Or at least, it should.  My more recent experiences of the Church have shown me less about radical discipleship and more about clinging to doctrine as a basis for excluding folks who don't fit our picture.  I've endured more information about tending to the needs inside a building and less about meeting folks at their actual place of need.  Unless I'm crazy, God is up to something in our world that is eternally bigger than quibbling over worship style or what we should serve at Wednesday supper.  The best part is that he's invited us to be a part of His mission of restoration and reconciliation.


It is up to us to choose to be honest with ourselves, our lives, our church, and the lives of others.  From what depth are we pushing the faith conversation forward, in congregation and in community?  Are we willing to put down our shield of safe Christianity so that we can participate fully and authentically in the redemptive mission of God in our community - person by person - here, now and today?  As research professor Brene Brown puts it "authenticity is a daily practice.  It demands wholehearted living and loving - even when it's hard".  The cool thing about authenticity is that it can show up anywhere - at a floral themed party with tea or in the midst of the overcrowded, poverty-stricken school down the street.


I dare say that authenticity can even show up at the building we visit on Sunday mornings.


What if we looked at our gatherings differently?  We can start by stripping away the requirements for a successful Sunday event - the proper clothes, the club membership seats, the approved music, the ceremony, the mask, the judgment, the pretending to be perfect since we're Christian.  Of all people, we Christians should surely know that it is we who are sinfully imperfect.  What if instead we opened up the floor for some conversation - maybe even considering a few risky and demanding questions?  What do the actions of an unapologetic follower of Christ look like?  What does sharing hope look like in real life - in traffic, the grocery store, the soccer field, the board room, the street corner?  How might we live differently if we embraced church as a verb, and not a noun?  How do we forge a path of authenticity in our community, paved with the Gospel of Grace?


Are we re-enacting scenes from a script in the past, busying ourselves with correct motions but with nothing truly happening, or are we struggling to meet the challenge to go and share the hope of Christ in our community by authentically connecting with others?  I'm up for conversation - with my tea party hat on, if need be.